The Deceptive Product

A little while ago I wrote about a mystery product, today I’m writing about a product that isn’t quite what it seems.


Can you guess what it is yet??

So, it’s long, it’s made of plastic, and it comes in a variety of colours. It is also very phallically shaped, has smooth ends and a ribbed middle. Hmm, what could it be???

I’m assuming that from the title and my first sentence you’ve all established that this isn’t a dildo, which is blatantly what it looks like, and you’d be right. What it really is could potentially be another product to sell to the new yuppy breed I was talking about yesterday.

Imagine the scene, you get to work after an arduous journey on the bus / tube / tram / whatever, and unpack your bag onto your desk. You’ve got a heavy schedule on and your bag contains books and folders along with yor laptop and your gym kit. It’s a big bag!! You get right to the bottom and stop in disbelief, “It’s happened again!!” you shout out to your colleagues. “Every damn day the same thing. Why can’t someone stop this?!? Ciao!! The humanity!”.

Yes, it’s true, your banana has been battered and bruised again.


Bananas get squashed. Fact.

But no more will your banana have to suffer. The end to all your misery is here.


Ladies and gentlemen. I introduce the Banana Guard

No, I don’t believe it either.

8 thoughts on “The Deceptive Product

  1. That’s a brilliant idea i’d buy two, one for my banana and another to stick up my arse ;)

  2. thats a bizarre product – i’m sure people would worry once i’d eaten my banana, what i was doing with a dildo on my desk

  3. Now that is a way more handy thing for me. I’m much more likely to want to transport a big fat bagel full of bacon than a banana!!

  4. I’m very interested in this product, as monkeys i think it is key that we promote safe transport of bananas and if it doubles as a dido then all the better!