Once upon a time, in order to be a Yuppy, there was a checklist you had to follow:
- Carry around some stupidly large diary containing a section for every conceivable piece of information about you life.
- Say Ciao as much humanly possible
- Dress is work attire all the time even if you aren’t at work.
- Jeans are acceptable if worn with a blazer.
Nowadays it seems all you have to do is drink some stupidly flavoured tea, really….that’s it.
I’m not a Yuppy, I’m not writing this because I’m upset that the classic view of a yuppy is being jaded by this new breed, it just ticks me off that all of a sudden it has become kind of “hip” to drink rank smelling, rank tasting hot fruity piss water.
“It tastes nicer than regular tea” they say. “It doesn’t leave a fuzziness in my mouth and I just don’t want the caffiene”
“Bollox, bollox, stop being such a pussy” I reply.
As it was quite clearly stated in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels – “The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea” and that was normal tea, probably PG Tips, not Redbush, or detox tea, or green tea or Cherry Chargers. Got it??
What the fuck is the deal with Redbush anyway? It sounds like something out of a ginger porn movie not a tasty infusion to enjoy with or without milk.
I give up!!
The tea selection in my office. And that’s without the real tea!!