Thursday night and it was almost time. Two days of anticipation would be ended in just a few minutes as Dave prepared to make his big announcement. Everyone had made it out for the occasion – Hugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Jimbo?? Yes, that’s right; Dave’s “big” announcement was that the forgotten brother had returned to Leicester.
Jimbo claimed that he was there for a weekend of carnage – drinking, smoking and animal slaughter were all on the agenda – but my suspicion was that he had only made the trip to get his favourite VW Beetle jumper back so that he could wear it on the pull round Norwich – vroom vroom.
Thursday evening quickly deteriorated into a drunken mess. In order to get in the party spirit, and obviously unaware of what was going to be expected of me that evening, I had put away four cans of Kronenbourg at home. This combined with more Kronenbourg, Sambuca, Havana Ice Tea, more lager and some weird Belgian shit led to a reasonable amount of memory loss, and me still being steaming drunk when I got up for work in the morning.
Life would have been better on Friday had I not felt so betrayed by the whole situation. People outside our group of friends may think that the announcement was a disappointment – this was not the case for us at all. The disappointing thing was the fact that Dave had secretly got Jimbo up on a Thursday, knowing full well that everyone was going to get steaming, and then booked the Friday off work leaving the rest of us to face the music, still drunk, on Friday morning.
Needless to say, once I had received a text message from Jimbo at 10:30am telling me that he was still lying in bed, work did not last long. I wrote a very honest email to my boss explaining that I had got drunk the night before, picked up my things, and headed home.
The rest of the weekend is mainly a heavily drunken blur. Corona for lunch and Kronenbourg for dinner led to the house looking like a bomb site by morning. Not to mention the sheets in the spare room at Dave’s which apparently ended up a strange luminous green colour.
A Damien Hirst picture showing the effects of a night of passion with Jimbo